Proud doesn't need to be loud
This Thursday, the second annual Female Orgasm Workshop will be taking place (Nov 3, Emerson 105, 6:30). Last year's female orgasm workshop drew a crowd three times the size of Adams LCR, clearly showing the need for this kind of dialogue on campus.
I completely support the female orgasm workshop, those organizing and the effort and passion that has gone into this, but the ads circulating have prompted some thoughts about how this pride and celebration of a traditionally taboo (or not even existing) subject has been presented.
Being proud does not mean you need to be loud. While it is completely someone's right to express their pride in whatever way they may choose, sometimes it's overdone to the point that if you're not willing to yell vagina in a crowded dining hall, you must not be comfortable with your body. (more in expanded post)
I completely support the female orgasm workshop, those organizing and the effort and passion that has gone into this, but the ads circulating have prompted some thoughts about how this pride and celebration of a traditionally taboo (or not even existing) subject has been presented.
Being proud does not mean you need to be loud. While it is completely someone's right to express their pride in whatever way they may choose, sometimes it's overdone to the point that if you're not willing to yell vagina in a crowded dining hall, you must not be comfortable with your body. (more in expanded post)
I'm exaggerating, of course, but often, when people try to frame traditionally taboo subjects in a more accessible way, the counteraction of traditional silence is taken to the extreme and takes away from the cause. Proclaiming one's love for female orgasms publicly is meant as a defiant gesture, showing that the taboo means nothing, and that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and instead it's something to be proud of; unfortunately, however, it's too often taken to the opposite extreme and instead alienates those who may agree or wish to learn more but are hesitant to be associated with those who they may see as blurring the lines between treating an issue seriously and being so vocal that the issue becomes sensationalized and devalued.
As a speaker who came to my high school to speak about breast cancer and breast exams said, you can be proud of your breasts and confident about them, but that doesn't mean you need to go around talking about them like I do. In the case of this workshop, it's probably likely that people who want to go will laugh and appreciate the ads (which use slogans like "When I think about you, I touch myself! and Wanna Come Again?), and those who don't like them probably wouldn't have gone anyway. But what about those who want to go, maybe for more personal educational reasons, but are turned off by the ads and how they don't emphasize in any way the importance and the educational value of the workshop. I think this goes for a lot of things in life: if you're not willing to proclaim yourself a feminist, are you not really one? If you refuse to talk freely about sex, are you not comfortable with your sexuality? If you refuse to argue, are you afraid to stand up for your beliefs? There is a time, place and way for everything, and those appropriate times and places and ways of doing things are particular to each individual.
posted by deborah ho @ 8:50 PM
4 Comments:
I just thought I'd throw out this link, used by RUS in advertising the event, of RUSH LIMBAUGH!
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~rus/rush.mp3
Actually I like this post a lot... I wholeheartedly agree that there are times and places for self-expression, and that different people have different ways of being comfortable with themselves, their beliefs, their bodies. Nice one!
While I see where you are coming from, I don't think the points you brought up address the crux of what I'm trying to say, Katie: being loud and suggestive in advertising will certainly be accepted by those who are more open or used to that manner of self-expression, but those who would come anyway are not what I'm concerned about--I'm concerned about those who feel ambivalent about the subject, those who are not directly involved (like men) and those who might want to know more, but are hesitant as yet to declare their love for female orgasms. I've been asked whether this workshop is "for serious," because the ads seem to make such light of it. As you point out, there is public discourse on women's sexuality (although I feel that there is still an extra jump between sexuality and talking about female orgasms in a social context) but it's found in more, for the lack of a better word, risque forums like H-bomb, or even the human sexuality course (which the cue guides cautions requires a liberal, open mind). I haven't seen a lot of pro-choice or pro-life literature that talks about orgasms, so I can't comment on that. What I mean to say is that speaking frankly about something like female orgasms that is traditionally not discussed may actually do more to overturn taboos than declaring one's love for them in suggestive ways. By being shocking, we affirm that there is shock value to be had--in a way, we're saying that yes, it is taboo. But speaking frankly simply shows that the brouhaha is irrelevant, because there shouldn't be one in the first place, because female orgasms are an important issue to be discussed.
I'm for sure not saying that the advertising hasn't been effective or fun, or that it should have been completely a different way. I am simply saying that there's value in a different approach. Moreover, it's important to realize that those who read cambridge common, for example, are likely to be more liberal and more accustomed to speaking freely about such issues, which is most certainly not the case everywhere at Harvard, and in specific ways, among ethnic/cultural groups, where being vocal is not necessarily interpreted as a positive expression of confidence. One of the most valuable aspects of the Female Orgasm Workshop is to reach out to those not already comfortable or knowledgeable about the issues. If we are satisfied with simply associating with and catering to those who already agree with our points of view, then no progress will ever be made. We can't shift norms of discourse if we simply solidify a norm among a group of like-minded individuals, which is different from the norm among others. I definitely think this is the beginning of more open and positive discourse, but I think that in order to do so, we must always be reaching out to those who do not agree with us. For someone comfortable with the idea of a female orgasm workshop, the ads would be funny. But for someone else, they are hard to understand, the implications confusing and the lightheartedness negative, thus affirming that there is something strange or shocking about a female orgasm workshop.
that was beautifully written deb -- thanks for bringing up this issue.
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